If I were to receive a dubious award at a family picnic, it would have to be for most loyal and consistent coffee drinker. Here's my Thank You speech to the crowd:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, I am most gracious and feel honored to have been bestowed with this award. My relationship and loyalty stems back to when I was in college trying with all my heart and soul to keep my eyes open during one of the late classes (or even those early classes), where the subject matter was of such dullness; it is hard to put into words, but just think of Statistics or some other math class spoken in a monotone with a textbook that appears centuries old (yawn!). Sorry, I detract, but here is where I was introduced to the bottle - not alcohol, but the delightful bottle from Starbucks called Frapuccino (Mocha-flavor). Oh, what a delight it was, what a sweet and wonderfully swirling delight. To my pleasant surprise, I noticed the calcium % in this bottle was quite high. Ha, Ha. So I managed to sit through these dull classes, and for this gratitude, I have become a loyal follower of good-quality coffee (but please, can't drink it black....there must be milk). So now that I have received this award, I say cheers. Please raise your coffee mugs, and take a nice long sip.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The 4th of July Party & the Couch
Pretend you're attending a 4th of July party of one of your friends, and everything was fun and games, but suddenly one of the guests breaks a "favorite" possession of the host.
Your friend is absolutely furious and starts screaming hysterically. What kind of a possession would cause such rage? My guess is one of sentimental value that was passed down from generation to generation. Perhaps it is that grey couch. The couch was so old and faded, and frankly, carried an offensive odor that is better left unexplained.
It is rather shocking that the host is so upset, because the rest of the host's family is thrilled that they will no longer have to sit on that nasty old couch, which had taken up permanent residence in the family name for 200 years. The rest of the family is secretly grateful to the guest who had the so-called audacity to jump on the couch after having a few drinks too many with a force so strong, that the couch collapsed into two, and splinters flew all over the place. The couch is now officially worthless. It is time to take a trip to Ikea or some other furniture store and pick up a new one.
The End.
Your friend is absolutely furious and starts screaming hysterically. What kind of a possession would cause such rage? My guess is one of sentimental value that was passed down from generation to generation. Perhaps it is that grey couch. The couch was so old and faded, and frankly, carried an offensive odor that is better left unexplained.
It is rather shocking that the host is so upset, because the rest of the host's family is thrilled that they will no longer have to sit on that nasty old couch, which had taken up permanent residence in the family name for 200 years. The rest of the family is secretly grateful to the guest who had the so-called audacity to jump on the couch after having a few drinks too many with a force so strong, that the couch collapsed into two, and splinters flew all over the place. The couch is now officially worthless. It is time to take a trip to Ikea or some other furniture store and pick up a new one.
The End.
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